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when i walk with heads down
doesn't mean i'm emo

when i frown a lot
doesn't mean i'm depressed

just because i like gore
doesn't mean i'm gothic

i am who i feel i want to be

click on the "Not Emo!" to suit your mood.

Name : F.i.L.h.A.d.
Gender : Male
Height : 174.5 cm
Weight : 58 KG
School : Guangyang Pri
Anderson Sec
Class : 1605 2606 3307 4308
CCAs : Angklung ODAC Art Club


his wishlist

# pass both Maths
 # LIR5 to be less than 14
 # O Level Results
 # grow taller to 180cm
# get a fake tan
# whiten my teeth and align my jaw
# parfum/eau de parfum/eau de toilette
# a tight fitting white jeans (not skinnies)
# new shoes
# master the art of Blue Steel
# smile way more

It was 7:47 PM on a red Friday, May 26, 2006...

Hey ya! Feelin' high and happie todae. coz its da last dae of skul lah. Lyk finally... aft all dat stress. bt wen i tink of nxt yr. my stomache churns dude. it'll b lyk total freakin' out. last yr i juz wanted a change of classmates coz evrybodi was lyk all fighters. as in literally dey all like to fight. bt nw dat we've bonded. it'll be painful to go separately. bt at least we're still in da same skul rite? Sigh. Life.

Our term two results are out. Shall rite them out.

Eng - 56.7 (C5)
Malay - 63.7 (B4)
Maths - 56.7 (C5)
Sci - 73.7 (A2)
Geog - 71 (A2)
Hist - 67.3 (B3)
Lit - 76.3 (A1)
Dnt - 78 (A1)
Art - 62 (B4)
CSP - 55 (C5)

Red are the subjects which i declined, green increased and white neutral. Hahak. N my dad is still not happie wif my marks. Lyk i worked so hard. U dunno wad i had to go through. da least u cld do is to sae well done bt cld be betta or sthg.

Oh great nw im feeling sad. i dunno y. bt dis song is doing it. tml going to nenek's hse. den mon got odac till 6. den tues got sci till 4. weds got eng n sci oso till 4. Den we are lyk so forced to go to johore to attend my "oh-so-close-kin-makcik" to god knows i have an idea who she is as i have the idea of my future gf in yr 3000. Lyk god wen i dun wanna go dun force lah. i'd be so bummed over der lah. juz pray dat somehw a miracle might happen n my sis haf to go to skul on dat dae so dun nid to go.

On the 13 we haf d class barbecue. n i'm squishing my heart out thinking wad to do if i actuallie had to dance. See hw lah on dat dae. Juz hope dat i dun be lyk Carrie da gal hu has special powers n burnt her whole skul coz she was embarassed on prom nite. N to tink dat 2/4 is having it on d same dae juz makes da whole ting worse. Great nw evrybodi haf partners n i dun. dis whole post is juz getting too negative. Shall end here.
Yes, you heard it first here.



It was 8:23 PM on a red Thursday, May 25, 2006...

now that you've left
with a threat meant for kids
thought i'd miss you?
i'm eating your memory by the minute
and depositing them like faeces

thanks for the lies you slashed
which i revealed and cured my sanity
i never wanna see you again
thanks again for leaving
Yes, you heard it first here.



It was 7:43 PM on a red Friday, May 19, 2006...

WOOTS! We won frisbee... Hahak. though its onli betwn 2 teams. bt still... we cld haf lost u noe. bt d rest of the event we did lose. bt doesnt matter. the important ting is dat we tried. 2/6 rox on!!

its a tiring dae todae. sch finish at 9.45. b4 dat had d stewpid debate lah. yusaku as usual the parliament-member-wannabe. crap sak. bt funni. Den wen schl end go home first. ate n slept. den go solat jumaat. aft dat mus go yishun stadium for sports carnival. wanted to mit khairi bt he so long so i took off first. Den over der veri hard to find 2/6 seh. oni found wen saw ppl wearing orange2 colour shirt. d t-shirt so nice! Hahak. Got our name n reg no. at d back. den d rest 4 hrs crap2 arnd n cheering.

ok so i wuz jus paranoid. my result werent dat bad. actuallie overall get 3 As. failed nuting. among d express ppl i get position no. 2. nt bad lah since i came in wif d 3rd lowest aggregate.
Yes, you heard it first here.



It was 7:14 PM on a red Wednesday, May 17, 2006...

JSSH! I hate english lah. Lyk wad d hell. Dis term ALL my grades are going down. Great. Eng i get C5. Lyk sigh. She so mean give me 17/30. i'm the second lowest grade for eng. feel so depressed. then even geog im going down. malay going down. maths going down. chi going down. sci going down. d&t going down. everyting going down. feel so depressed. ARGH!

It's probably all my fault yes? not dat i din study. bt i chose to be creative dis tym. Ans tings differently den norm. So much for being original. Tut. Oh yah. madr result. i get a freaking "D" for al-quran. Lyk hell. not fair. we weren't access equally lah. Hate them. Bt d oder subs were ok. get A* for amali and dianah. B for sirah.
Yes, you heard it first here.



It was 7:22 PM on a red Sunday, May 14, 2006...

Hapie Mother's Dae Mummie...

It mother's dae todae. Hahk. bt my dadee keje ptg. so i guess no eating out? Bt nvm no eating out we eat in. mum wans me n sis to cook. Hahk. dream on. my sis oni noe hw to tok oni. sae wad typ of guy i am lah blah blah. bt look at her. wad typ of gal is she? isk isk ish. so mumee ordering pizza. haf to wait for 1h 45 mins. Lyk wad the tut. so long. by dat tym oledi kul 8.15. bt wad to do. dey are bz todae.

Gave my mum the rose which i kirim-ed my sis. Lol. we gave the same prezzie lyk duh my sis bought it togeder. Din realise dat it's actualie made of feather ayam until my mum said so. Lyk cool. n to think dat i've been sniffing it for some tym coz it got nice smell. hahak. wonder which part of the chicken it came from.

So i guess the madr result is out. Lyk wth. Suddenly kluar in the surat kabar sae dis gal got top. Hahk. N dad wans me to take it alone tml... Lyk wad d heck ah. i do not wan to go in the mesjid alone wif my short pants. Jssh. Wad to do. Sigh

im hungry. been eating choc loads. Argh cannot control. i hate pimples. if oni choc n pimples arent related. K ah. Wanna go watch xXx. Dat is the one starring vin diesel n nt d one easily found on a yahoo search engine which is inappropiate for small kids. Hehe. Chiaoz.
Yes, you heard it first here.



It was 2:47 PM on a red Saturday, May 13, 2006...

I've not yet bathe and i'm on the com Hahk. Its 2.44 pm. n im still tired. Wth. Dunno if todae is the madr psle result. sm sae yes. bt skali lyk last wk sae got bt den nobodi at d mesjid.

My sis broke up again. n to me its lyk "YEEESSSSSS!!!!"... bt to her obviously d opposite. i sound lyk a sadist dun i? Bt actualie u wld b lyk me too if u noe dat guy. he's d most self-centred, fact-twister, insecured guy i've eva met. tink my sis better off without him lah.

Mayb ltr gonna kluar. go either paragon or orchard to change dunno wad my sis sim-card or sthg. Den go geylang. Damn i hate geylang. Weneva i go in, come out sweat lyk pig. bt dun wanna stay home alone. nt wen its a sat n i've finished most of my hmwk. bt hopefully d new geylang wld b ok.

I mish ammar. Lol. for some reason my dreams these daes been abt babies. Very naughty babies. Wen i watch the supernanny at central i was lyk freak. if babies are lyk dat wad abt thinking ppl? Nvm. end of the world soon niwae.

i wan all my results bck. So far wad we've gotten i passed. phew. Bt d rest specially eng i wonder hw i did. argh. if there was no school i'd be a statue. Or a maid to this household. Sometyms i wonder whether i'm still human. Lyk i wonder whether my impulse is still original n nt second created by my concious mind. Lyk whether all my actions are acted out lyk mrs sally lee. i wonder whether she's still got reality in her annot.

Niwae for sm reasons i lyk sajak. dunno lah bt its kindda cool. Bt if ms suzi dun accept dis sajak, den mayb i wun lyk it nimore. Hahk. Dats me. ODAC has been quiet these past weeks. Which is suppose to make me hapi. bt smhw i wan rox climbing. i changed blogskin again. hope ppl see it as nice. bt no worie nt many ppl will find my blog. nt even mama joseph wen i move again. Hahak. k ah going away. byez...
Yes, you heard it first here.



It was 9:13 PM on a red Thursday, May 11, 2006...

shall post a short one. dis wk is an angry one. made step faces loads. nt my fault dat i get irritated so easily. i need a change of seat. its making me go cukoo. n i get jealous so easily. dunno lah. Tues got chi. Veli tiring leh. even though dun pae attention. wed we played frisbee! for the first tym in my life. N we are actuallie gonna take part in the games ltr. im freaking nervous seh. Bt nevamind lah comes to worst we will get 2nd or 3rd. Den todae is such a short dae! Woots. Cuz of the speech day. gtg. bye.
Yes, you heard it first here.



It was 9:59 PM on a red Friday, May 05, 2006...

Wassup dude... Dis wk arh is uncommendable. Lol.. yay i pass sci, got 25.5. bt wasnt dat hapie coz i decrease by 2 pts. den maths arh, juz pass oni. sad noe. 22/40... decrease oso. bt mly i actualie increased! yay! i got highest marks for karangan i tink. den my ppr 2 was 64.5... bt stewpid oral pulled me down lah... :( so overall mly 63. ok ah. at least one grade up. :) Chi test was freaking, erm, hard... I jus sat der staring at d ppr turning d pages over n over n over again for the first 10 mins. i realie understand how the ppl in i not stupid mus haf felt... Bt den last resort i copied! Hahk. bt oni the cloze passage ah. Den the bina ayat she got give helping wds so quite easy oledi lah.

Todae i skipped odac. Tired lah. Been getting chest pains again. Muz b due to d lack of slp. Lol. Yay nazira passed her maths. which means she lost the bet n haf to blanja me magnum which she did. So delicious. yum yum. Hahak. i realie haf been spending lyk crazy dis wk. Muz start savin'. Gtg. Chiaoz.
Yes, you heard it first here.