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when i walk with heads down
doesn't mean i'm emo

when i frown a lot
doesn't mean i'm depressed

just because i like gore
doesn't mean i'm gothic

i am who i feel i want to be

click on the "Not Emo!" to suit your mood.

Name : F.i.L.h.A.d.
Gender : Male
Height : 174.5 cm
Weight : 58 KG
School : Guangyang Pri
Anderson Sec
Class : 1605 2606 3307 4308
CCAs : Angklung ODAC Art Club


his wishlist

# pass both Maths
 # LIR5 to be less than 14
 # O Level Results
 # grow taller to 180cm
# get a fake tan
# whiten my teeth and align my jaw
# parfum/eau de parfum/eau de toilette
# a tight fitting white jeans (not skinnies)
# new shoes
# master the art of Blue Steel
# smile way more

It was 11:48 PM on a red Sunday, April 30, 2006...

ARRGHH! I feel so freaking sick... i tink i haf mood swing or smthg... Argh! I feel hatred for smthg... N dat smthg does not exist... I feel irksome... Lyk wen is dis feeling gonna end?? Wad the hell... Wad is dis... Juz nw for no reason i cried... N dat's sick... Sigh... i tink evrytings getting to me... Lyk wad the hell lah...

I Will Be Alright, i shall be ok...
Yes, you heard it first here.



It was 12:03 PM on a red ...

exams are over! At last. Aft all dat torture, here i am blogging... K shld elaborate on each paper... Mon was d eng ppr 1 n sci... I think i screwed up on the eng ppr bt d sci ppr was freakin' easy! Hahk... Bt still shall nt b too cocky... Den tues was compo n hist... the title i chose for the compo was "Losing my best Friend"... while doing the whole ting the song helena by my chemical romance played in my ear... Lol... i do not know why... Bt niwae dat song helped me rise up my sad emotions n i manage to force myself to throw a tear down my cheek... Lol... Bt still my language nt dat gd so, i dun expect to do well... Den wed was maths n geog... To think dat d dae before i forgot to bring my geog books back home... Bt luckily manage to cramp up d info n it was done ok-ly... bt maths was... erm, analyse-less... den thurs was dnt and literature bof was ok i guess... n i tink my malay was also ok... Hahak! Yay... Den sat was rock climbing wif the odac ppl! Wohoo! Me n fauzi teamed up... D first wall was freaking hard lah... dah lah panas nk mampoz den d wall was vertical n got lumps... so i belayed fauzi first... He was d onli one hu managed to reach d top of d first one... bt i only managed to reach d third column lah... Den we got one hr lunch break... i bought ice lemon tea n kit kat chunky n dat was my lunch n sub-dinner... Lol... Den wen to the bowling alley bt din play bowling lah... Wer got tym liddat... Bt played snooker or pool or wadeva... Bt yeah it was d first tym i played it n i was taught bt a junior... Hahk... Den wen back den do d tallest wall der lah... We all completed to the top coz it was slanted abit to the inside so it was easy... Though kindda freaky at first... Bt d going down was specially freaky especially wen u haf a belayer like Fauzi if you know wad i mean... Oledi at first while i was still climbing i was checking which stones was tight n not moving... den he purposely pulled d rope so tight lah... Purposely one lah... hu noes while i was sitting at the rope to go down he would purposely make the rope go so fast dat i bunjee jump or smthg... bt luckily he din lah coz got the instructor der... Speaking of which... Got dis instructor one... when we first saw her while she was standing cloze to me n fauzi while we were seating den fauzi ask me perempuan ke laki ah? Den i was lyk looking at her she was looking at fauzi so i answered perempuan ah... Den aft a while while she was giving us d equiptment she spoke smthg in malay to us... So we were lyk luffing lah... Lyk wad d hell! She understood that we question abt her gender lah... Bt she does nt look lyk a malay at all or wadsoeva... Hahk... Bt nvm... At least now i got my level 1 sport climbing... Nyeahahar... n now i miz ytd... Coz its funny i tot i wld neva miz it... Coz d dae b4 i dread it... its d same feeling dat i used to get wen i slept at rumah nenek for lyk 2 daes or smthg... So sad... Bt yeah dis week was so cool... I hope to haf it again pls god... x)
Yes, you heard it first here.



It was 2:27 PM on a red Saturday, April 22, 2006...

I'm blogging now, a wk since my last post. dis wk is seriously draining me. my head is buzzin' wif stuff n i haf to make sure dat nt a single ting leaks away... Mon we did 3 presentations... Firstly mly my stupid one line skit in frnt of VP... Den eng do freeze frames... One part was on sensitivity... I was d sleeping beauty... Prakash d prince... Pukey bt... Unforgetable... Den music rap performance turned out way betta den i xpected... We were d onli team wif full costume... Hahk. Actuallie had a dream d nite b4 dat we were luffed at...

Den d rest of the wk was soo not relaxed... Specially sci n maths... my hist ppr 1 turned out good actually... while doing it i had a headache i tot i wld fail... Bt since no, so happy! got 11/15... Bt rockclimbing for dis wk cancelled... Wad d tut... Ytd i spent $10 eating KFC wif khairi... Cld haf saved d money n eaten at home if i knew it was canceled earlier...

Stupid pradeep... For saying dat ting in csp... Nw i lost her "i-dun-hate-you"-ness jus lyk dat... N her beloved who used to b my fren in cca nw seems to hate me... i swear in the name of my blog dat i will (neva) to the power of 100 tell any secrets to pradeep... Tut you... On the other hand a new 7-11 jus opened near my home... Yay! Dey sell d siew mai... N dey oso gonna open anoder branch near school so bye-bye cheers... it was nice while it last... Hahak... N d fact dat prima deli is halal nw is anoder yay! shall try to control frm bying d pancake evrydae... Gtg study sci... Adios amigos...
Yes, you heard it first here.



It was 11:35 PM on a red Thursday, April 13, 2006...

Sad, sadistic day. Suicidal me. I freaked. Up and down I went. People laughed. I cried alone. Dark it was. I died.

Omg does Sally Lee expects me to write that format of writing? Freak... But today is really sadistic. Bryan slit, Samuel irritated, Cikgu Mas cried, my friends thrown far away... History test was hard. I gave up. I stopped doing. I was sad. I had a headache, migraine and drowsiness. Art was tiring. Languages which I do not understand was place over me. Am I invisible? What? 1 full year of knowing me made you not know that I do not understand or speak your language? Tell me it couldn't get worse. It did. I was left alone. I felt deceived and cheated. Shit. I was ashamed. Sigh. CSP was shit. Went in with only me and the teacher. Slowly other 7 people came. That was it. CSP cancelled. Guess its karma. I skipped CSP for like 3 weeks in a row. Guess this is punishment. I shall terminate here.
Yes, you heard it first here.



It was 5:15 PM on a red Friday, April 07, 2006...

i'm craziie! Hahak. Giving myself stupid hopes. ishk. i hate myself for not being able to let go... Sigh. Juz because she dun hate me now as she used to doesn't mean she likes me rite? Stupid me.

Weds had sore eyes again! Woohoo! i skipped two of ms thoo's lessons... Hahak... So lucky me... Nt nw i gotta lots of work to do... N jus nw during lit we were supposed to choose a song to set to the poem dat she gave... And i cant believe i chose lindsay lohan! HAHK. its one of those last resort moments. it was d only song wif the longest instrumental at the start. so yeah... If hilary duff was by gf she'd be mad. Lol. Told you im crazie...

I hate my pants... Its freaking loose lor.. alredi alter still liddat... N i tink its cuming straight down...Jus nw in d morn i was rushing for the bus den my pants came so low, dat... Erm nvm... Jus hope no one sees... Freaking memalukn... So i'm ending it here... Wanna eat... Chiao...
Yes, you heard it first here.